You've spent too much time with dogs when...

You can discuss stool textures at the dinner table.

You know what "express anal glands" means.

You have ever expressed anal glands.

Expressing anal glands does not make you vomit.

Before you go into the ring, your dog has a case of diarrhea and you walk behind him holding the hair out of the "path" so you don't have to do more grooming.

You know what bait is.

You know the smell of a parvo stool.

Your dog has more sex than you do.

Your dog has more request for stud service than you do.

You know what an "outside tie" is.

You have cleaned up dog poop while eating.

You have mistakenly eaten the dogs food, and it didn't bother you much.

You caught your dog drinking out of your glass, and you drank after him.

Your dog knows how to eat from a spoon/fork.

You have ever put dog bait in your mouth.

You know what gaiting is.

You know where the withers are on a dog.

Your dog has vomited and you hover over it and examine the contents.

You have ever followed the dog around to wait for him to poop so you could get something back that he'd eaten.

You have ever wiped your dogs rear after he's defacated.

You have ever bought a new vehichle just to transport your dogs.

You have ever bought carpet to match the color of your dogs hair.

You have a tattoo of your dog.

Your dog has a tattoo.

You don't mind if the dog sees you have sex.

The dog has more bedding than you do.

The dog eats better than you do.

You know what "specialing" a dog means.

Your dog has better health coverage than you do.

You have ever called your dogs your kids name.

You leave your kid home while you take the dog to a show.

Your kids are jealous of the dog.

Your dog is in your will before your kids.

You have a wall in your house showing your dogs photos/awards, while your kids photos and report cards are hidden in a drawer.

You know more about your dogs ancestors than your own.

You like your dogs ancestors more than your own.

You have ever picked eye gunk out of your dogs eye with your bare hands.

You have a king size bed and you're only "allowed" to sleep on the edge due to the dog.